Sidewinder 42
Member
Posts: 162
Registered: 2-26-2003
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Member Is Offline
Mood: Suicidal 
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Aahhhh, modern terminology
Synonyms for Masturbation
For women:
* Brushing the beaver
* Doing my nails
* Doing the Two Finger Slot Rumba
* Finger blasting
* Flicking the bean
* Going Mining
* JocelynEldering
* Makin' waves for the man-in-the-boat
* Making soup
* Nulling the void
* Paddling the pink canoe
* Parting the red sea
* Playing the beaver
* Playing The Silent Trombone
* Rolling the dough
* Strumming the banjo
* Surfin' the channel
* The two fingered tango
* Tickling the taco
* Toggling the bit
for Men:
* A big date with Rosy Palms
* Adjusting your set
* Attacking the one-eyed purple-headed warrior
* Auditioning the finger puppets
* Auditioning your hand puppet
* Backstroke roulette
* Bashing the Bishop
* Bashing the candle
* Beating off
* Beating the balogna
* Beating the Bishop
* Beating the dummy
* Beating the old man
* Beating the pud
* Beating the stick
* Beating your meat
* Beef-stroke-it-off
* Being a virtuoso of the skin flute
* Being your own best friend
* Biffing off
* Bleed the weed
* Blowing the load
* Blowing your own horn
* Bludgeoning the beefsteak
* Bopping the bishop
* Bopping the bolgney
* Bopping the Bonzo
* Boxing the bald champ
* Boxing the jesuit and getting cockroaches
* Boxing with Richard
* Buffin' the bishop
* Buffing the banana
* Buggering your hand
* Burping the baby
* Burping the worm
* Buttering the corn
* Caning the vandal
* Capturing the bishop
* Charming the snake
* Checking for testicular cancer
* Cheesing off
* Choking Kojak
* Choking the bald guy until he pukes
* Choking the chicken
* Choking the sheriff and waiting for the posse to come
* Clamping the pipe
* Cleaning your rifle
* Clearing the snorkel
* Climbin the tree
* Climbing Mount Baldy
* Closet Frisbee
* Coming into your own
* Cooking the cream of cock
* Corralling the tadpoles
* Couch hockey for one
* Cranking the love pump
* Cranking the shank
* Crimping the wire
* Crowning the king
* Cuddlin' the Kielbasa
* Cuffing the carrot
* Dating Miss Michigan (think geography)
* Dating Rosie Palm and her five sisters
* Defrosting the fridge
* Diddling
* Digitally oscillating one's penis
* Doin' The Solitary Rhumba
* Doing a hand job
* Doing battle with the Purple Helmeted Warrior of Love
* Doing handiwork
* Doing It Your Way
* Doing the five-knuckle shuffle
* Doing the janitor thing
* Doing the pork sword jiggle
* Doing the White Knuckler
* Doing your own thing
* Downing at the club (for members only)
* Draining the monster
* Dry humping the ottoman
* Electing the president
* Engaging in safe sex
* Faxing the Pope
* Feeding the ducks
* Firing the Surgeon General
* Fist fucking
* Fisting your mister
* Five on one
* Five-knuckle-shuffle on the old piss pump
* Flick on over the thumb
* Flicking the bic
* Flipping the Bishop
* Flogging the bishop
* Flogging the dog
* Flogging the dolphin
* Flogging the dong
* Flogging the frog
* Flogging the hog
* Flogging the log
* Flogging the mule
* Flogging the salami
* Flute solo
* Fly fishing
* Fondling the fig
* Freeing Willy
* Friggit
* Frosting the pastries
* Galloping the antelope
* Galloping the old lizard
* Genitalic stimulation via phallengetic motion
* Getting a date with Slick Mittens
* Getting chafed
* Getting off
* Getting the German soldier marching
* Getting to know yourself
* Getting your palm red
* Getting your pole varnished
* Giving it a tug
* Giving yourself a low five
* Gluing the lady's eye's shut
* Going a couple of rounds with ol' josh
* Going blind
* Going on a date with Handrea and Palmela
* Going on a date with Rosey Palm and the five daughters
* Going on Peewee's little adventure
* Going the blow
* Grappling the gorilla
* Greasing the pipe
* Hacking the hog
* Han Solo
* Hand job
* Hand Shandy
* Handy work
* Hard labor
* Having a conversation with the one-eyed trouser snake
* Having a date with Fisty Palmer
* Having a date with Rosie Palm and her five sisters
* Having a J. Arthur (British special, after J. Arthur Rank, it's rhyming slang)
* Having a one-night-stand with yourself
* Having a tug-of-war with the cyclops
* Having an arm-wrestle with your one-eyed vessel
* Having it off
* Having sex with someone you love
* Hitchhiking to heaven
* Hitchhiking underneath the big top
* Holding the sausage hostage
* Honing the cone
* Hugging the hog
* Humping the hose
* Ironing some wrinkles
* Jack hammering
* Jacking off
* Jazzing yourself
* Jerkin' the gherkin
* Jerking Jamby
* Jerking off
* Jerking yanking daisy-chaining
* Jizzlobbing
* Juggling the coullions
* Just jerkin' it
* Kicking seamen
* Kicking your roommate out for five to ten minutes to "call your parents"
* Knuckle shuffle on the ol' piss pump
* Launching the hand shuttle
* Looking for ticks
* Loping the mule
* Loves labors lost
* Loving the muppet
* Lubing the Tube
* Making a foreskin cone
* Making instant pudding
* Making the bald man puke
* Mangling the midget
* Manipulating the mango
* Manning the cockpit
* Manual labor
* Manual override
* Master bacon
* Meeting Mary Palm and her five sisters
* Meeting Rosie Hancock
* Meeting with Mother Thumb and her four daughters
* Milking one's self
* Milking the bull
* Milking the cow
* Milking the lizard
* Milking the moose
* Mounting a corporal and four
* Much goo about nothing
* My sex life!
* Nerking your throbber
* Oiling the glove
* Onan's Olympics
* Onanism
* One gun salute
* One man show
* One off the wrist
* Packing your palm
* Paddling the pickle
* Painting the ceiling
* Painting the pickle
* Painting the walls
* Palming the calm
* Peelin' some chiles
* Peeling the banana
* Peeling the carrot
* Performing diagnostics on your ManTool
* Perling the oyster
* Petting the lizard
* Phoning the czar
* Pipping the pumpkin
* Playing a little five-on-one
* Playing a one-stringed guitar
* Playing in a one-man show
* Playing Peek-A-Boo With Mr. Johnson
* Playing peekaboo
* Playing pocket pinball
* Playing pocket pool
* Playing tag with the pink torpedo
* Playing the one-stringed melody
* Playing the skin flute
* Playing tug-o-war with the cyclops
* Playing Uno
* Playing with the spitting llama
* Playing with your turtle (for uncircumcised guys?)
* Pleasing your pisser
* Plunking your twanger
* Pocket pinball
* Pocket pool
* Polishing Percy in your palm
* Polishing the family jewels
* Polishing the helmet
* Polishing the rocket
* Polishing the sword
* Popping the cork
* Pounding off
* Pounding the bald-headed moose
* Pounding the pud
* Pounding your flounder
* Preparing the carrot
* Priming the pump
* Pud wrestling
* Pulling off
* Pulling rank
* Pulling the bologna pony
* Pulling the carrot
* Pulling the Colonel Sanders Heimleich Manuever
* Pulling the cord
* Pulling the five-knuckle shuffle
* Pulling the goalie
* Pulling the pole
* Pulling the Pope
* Pulling your goalie
* Pulling your own leg
* Pulling your prick
* Pulling your pud
* Pulling your taffy
* Pummeling the priest
* Pumping cream
* Pumping the python
* Pumping the stump
* Punchin' the munchkin
* Punching the clown
* Punching the munchin
* Punishing Percy in the palm
* Punishing the Pope
* Ramming the ham
* Rapid one arm pull-ups
* Relieving tension
* Riding the great white knuckler
* Rolling your own
* Romeo and Himself
* Roping the pony
* Roping the Pope
* Roughing up the suspect
* Rubbing off
* Rubbing one out
* Rubbing the magic one-eyed wonder weasel
* Rubbing the pink eraser
* Running off a batch by hand
* Sacrificing sperm to the god of lonely nights
* Safest sex
* Sanding wood
* Scouring the tower of power
* Scratchin the itch
* Secret handshake
* Self abuse
* Self-induced penile regurgitation
* Self-inflicted intercourse
* Sex with someone you really love
* Shagging
* Shaking hands with Abraham Lincoln
* Shaking hands with Jack McNasty
* Shaking hands with Mr. Happy
* Shaking Hands with Mr. President
* Shaking hands with the midget
* Shaking hands with the unemployed
* Shaking hands with the wife's best friend
* Shaking hands with your John Thomas
* Shaking hands with your wife's best friend
* Shaking hands with Yul Brenner
* Shaking the bottle
* Shaking the hand of the self-employed
* Shaking the sauce
* Shaking the sausage
* Shaking the snake
* Shellacking the shellaleigh
* Shemping the hog
* Shifting gears
* Shining the helmet
* Shining the pork sword
* Shining your pole
* Shoot skeet (pull... shoot)
* Shooting flies
* Shooting for the moon
* Shooting putty at the moon
* Shuck The Corn
* Shucking your corn
* Slaking the bacon
* Slamming the ham
* Slamming the hammer
* Slamming the salami
* Slamming the salmon
* Slamming the spam
* Slappin the purple headed yogurt pistol
* Slapping high fives with Yul Brynner
* Slapping it
* Slapping pappy
* Slapping the carrot
* Slapping the clown
* Slapping the donkey
* Slapping the FleshGopher
* Slapping the pud
* Slapping the salami
* Slinging the jelly
* Smacking the salami
* Smacking-off
* Snapping one off
* Snapping the monkey
* Snapping the rubber
* Snapping the whip
* Solo flight
* Solo marathon
* Solo sex
* Spanking Elvis
* Spanking Frank
* Spanking the bishop
* Spanking the monkey
* Spanking the salami
* Spanking the wank
* Spit-polishing the purple helmet
* Squeezing the cheese
* Squeezing the juice
* Squeezing the lemon
* Squeezing the weasel
* Squeezing your cheese-dog
* Stinky pinky
* Stirring the batter
* Stirring the yogurt
* Strainin' the main vein
* Strangling the Serpent
* Stroking it
* Stroking off
* Stroking the dog
* Stroking the lizard
* Stroking the mole
* Stroking the one-eyed burping gecko
* Stroking the satin-headed serpent
* Stroking the wiener
* Stroking your poker
* Stroking your twinkie
* Taking a shake break
* Taking matters into your own hands
* Taking part in population control
* Taking the Jocelyn Elders Midterm
* Taking the monster for a one-armed ride
* Talking quietly to yourself
* Taming the one-eyed wompas cat
* Taming the shrew
* Taunting the one-eyed weasel
* Teasing the weasel
* Teasing the weenie
* Tenderizing the meat
* Tenderizing the tube steak
* Testing the testicles
* Testing your batteries
* That crazy hand jive
* The art of Unisex
* The Colonel Sanders Heimleich Maneuver
* The five knuckle shuffle on the old piss pipe
* The serta solo
* Thrapping
* Thumping the pump
* Ticklewigglejigglepickle
* Tickling my fancy
* Tickling the ivory
* Tickling the one-eyed weasel
* Tickling the pickle
* Tossing off
* Tossing the salad
* Tossing the snag
* Tossing the turkey
* Tossing yogurt
* Trouser snake CPR
* Tugging the slug
* Tugging the tapioca tube
* Turning Japanese
* Twanging the wire
* Tweaking your twinkie
* Twisting your crank
* Unloadinging the gun
* Varnishing the flagpole
* Visiting Rosy Palm and her five daughters
* Wacking off
* Wacking the one-eyed worm
* Wacking the weasel
* Wacking the willie
* Waking the dead
* Waking Wee Willie Wonka
* Walking the dog
* Walking the plank
* Walking the snake
* Wanking
* Wanking with the one-eyed wonder weasel
* Washing the meat
* Waxing the car
* Waxing the carrot
* Waxing the dolphin
* Waxing your surfboard
* Whackin the weasel
* Whacking it
* Whacking off
* Whacking Willy
* Whipping off
* Whipping the dummy
* Whipping the one-eyed trouser snake
* Whipping the rat
* Whipping the stiff
* Whipping the wire
* Whipping up some sour cream
* Whipping willy the one-eyed wonder-worm
* Whipping your dripper
* White-water wristing
* Whittling the stick
* Whizzing jism
* Windsurfing on Mount Baldy
* Wonking your conker
* Workin' out a stiff joint
* Working off
* Wrestling the eel
* Wrestling the purple headed warrior
* Wrestling with the bald champ
* Wringing out your rope
* Wrist aerobics
* Yanking off
* Yanking the crank
* Yanking the yoyo
* Yanking your plank
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Homer
Member
Posts: 129
Registered: 3-1-2003
Member Is Offline
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all righty then!!! it's kind of funny that there are only about 15 for women and about 200 for men! (that has to say something I'm just not sure what)
... and when "cleaning your rifle", don't forget your flak jacket ...
[Edited on 3-14-2003 by Homer]
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