Sidewinder 42
Member
Posts: 162
Registered: 2-26-2003
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Member Is Offline
Mood: Suicidal 
|
|
Monkey Jokes!!!
OK, I'll start:
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and
while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the
place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them,
then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,then jumps up on the
pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and
swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey
just did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball
off my pool table - whole!" says the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He eats
everything in sight, the little twerp. I'll pay for the cue ball
and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves.
Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with
him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the
bar again.
While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry
on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and
eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your
monkey did now?" "Now what?" asks the patron.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it
out and ate it!" says the barkeeper.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He still
eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue
ball he measures everything first!"
|
|
|
taokow
Member
Posts: 128
Registered: 10-20-2002
Location: Ohio, USA
Member Is Offline
Mood: onanistic
|
|
A trucker picks up a hitchhiker who climbs up in the cab and notices a monkey on the dashboard.
After a few miles he asks the driver what the monkey is for.
The driver says "I'll show you" and with that he hits the monkey with the back of his hand, sending the poor creature rolling across the dash.
The monkey goes down between the drivers legs, unzips his pants, pulls out his unit and proceeds to give the trucker head.
When finished ,the monkey pulls out a tissue, cleans the driver up, puts everything back and jumps back up on the dashboard.
"See that" said the trucker. The man said "Yeah". The trucker ask the man "You want to try it?"
The man said "OK, but don't hit me as hard as you hit that monkey!"
I said "Elemental" and just then, it started to rain.
|
|
|
Sidewinder 42
Member
Posts: 162
Registered: 2-26-2003
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Member Is Offline
Mood: Suicidal
|
|
One day a little girl and her mother were at the zoo and two monkeys were having sex.
The little girl asked "Mommy what are those two monkeys doing"?
And the mother said "They're baking a cake honey".
Then the little girl said "Were you and daddy baking a cake last night? Becuase I licked the frosting off the couch this morning".
|
|
|
sonicspirit
Member
Posts: 103
Registered: 1-28-2003
Location: the ghetto in my mind
Member Is Offline
Mood: windy and wild
|
|
|
|
|
|
![[*]](images/crimsonflower/default_icon.gif){kind=icon}
